My favorite comedian
“He’s trying not to be the next Kobe, and she’s trying not to be the next victim – here’s LeBron James and Ashanti!”
After 50 Cent’s performance of “P.I.M.P.,” during which he was joined onstage Snoop Dogg, the ubiquitous former pimp Bishop Don Magic Juan, members of his G-Unit posse and a bevy of half-naked women. “Today is the anniversary of Martin Luther King’s “I Have a Dream’ speech – isn’t it nice to see that his dream has finally come true?”
“Our next presenter saves a lot of money on Mother’s Day. Give it up for Eminem!”
After Christina Aguilera performed “Dirrty”: “You’ll be hearing those songs at strip clubs for years to come.”
“Our next presenter is being sued by more people that the Catholic church. Give it up for P. Diddy!”
“Seeing Janet Jackson with Jermaine Dupri is like finding out about a sale a day too late” – on the romance between the bombshell Jackson and the diminutive hip-hopper.
After Coldplay’s somber performance: “Wow, I hope you didn’t slit your wrists to that one.”
On the super-dreadlocked “Get Low” rapper: “Doesn’t Lil’ Jon look like a black Cousin Itt?”
After a bighaired performance by Beyonce: “She might have had a little Seabiscuit in the hair, but she was kickin’!”
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